by Liam Hogan
Don’t study microbiology at university.
Definitely don’t take Dr Meadow’s course on recombinant DNA.
Whatever you do, don’t volunteer to look after her lab rats during summer break. Certainly don’t name one of them “Nipper”.
Take July the 13th off. Any excuse will do. Someone else can feed her damned rats for one miserable day.
Don’t let the mail-boy stick his hand in Nipper’s cage. And DON’T mix up the iodine solution with Dr Meadow’s untested serum.
If you do end up doing all of this (again), at least make sure you’re wearing a good pair of sneakers. And RUN!
Liam Hogan is an award-winning short story writer, with stories in Best of British Science Fiction and in Best of British Fantasy (NewCon Press). He’s been published by Analog, Daily Science Fiction, and Flame Tree Press, among others. He helps host Liars’ League London, volunteers at the creative writing charity Ministry of Stories, and lives and avoids work in London. More details at http://happyendingnotguaranteed.blogspot.co.uk