The Measure of a Man is What He Does When Drunk

by Paul Lewthwaite

“I’m more of a man than you!” Eddie said, slurring his words.

Mike dropped his bottle of moonshine. “C’mon then, prove it. Grab that chainsaw, or are you chicken?”

Eddie yanked the starter cord. The motor roared into life, spewing fumes. The blade wobbled as it plunged downward, severing his left forefoot. Eddie collapsed, screaming.

Mike seized the bloodied chainsaw, squeezing the throttle.

“A foot? Watch and weep, asshole!”

He swept the chainsaw up. It bit deep into his neck and carried on. His head flew off, landing close to Eddie, the lips peeled back in a final sardonic grin.

Paul Lewthwaite

Paul lives in Scotland with his wife and a small, but demanding cat. Some of his microfiction can be found at and

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