Beware the Thylarctos Plummetus Tour

by Lisa H. Owens

Mr Smith had one unticked item on his bucket list: to capture an elusive Drop Bear, one last hurrah with which to punctuate his life story. He dusted off his passport; forty-eight hours later, was deep in the rainforest of the Great Dividing Range with a tour guide called Jiemba. He was provided protective gear: a helmet of welded forks and a slathering of vegemite repellent behind both ears, but was so intent on watching the dense canopy above, shouting, “Here bear-bear-bear,” he marched into the arms of a murderous gympie-gympie. His liquified remains shipped home in a ziplock baggie.


Lisa H. Owens

Lisa H. Owens, an author residing in North Texas with two motley rescue dogs, has been published in several anthologies and various media outlets, including a two-year stint as a monthly humorist columnist. She credits her success to the support and mentorship of the late, great Steven Lester Carr. Her stories are often inspired by true events, usually including private jokes and family nicknames.



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